Monday, 20 March 2017

International Day of Happiness

March 20, 2017

It feels strange to be on here again because I just posted yesterday. It used to be normal to post daily, but now my goal is to blog once a week.

However, apparently it is the International Day of Happiness (and the first day of Spring) so I feel like writing.

Because happiness is pretty damn important.

Before I go further though, and before I forget again like I did in the last post, I wrote another guest blog post for my local Mommy Connections page. Check it out. It's all about my experience with breastfeeding. It's obviously not a topic everybody is interested in, but if you are, check it out. Here it is: Breastfeeding

It used to be a goal of mine to be happy. Even in the midst of unhappiness, all I wanted was some laughter. A lightness of the heart. 

Then one day, I figured it out. I just had to be happy. Easy as that. Just be happy. I had to look at things differently. Gratitude was huge in changing my way of looking at my life. In my case, there was always something to be grateful about, I just had to pay attention, and appreciate it.

I am by no means happy all the time. I try to be, but I'm also good at being grumpy. That won't change.

Today is International Day of Happiness, and I wish with all my heart that EVERY day could be International Day of Happiness, and that people could see the the great things in life.

I know that not everybody is in the place or the situation to even experience the good, but the optimistic in me has hope.

I can't make everybody happy. I can try though! 

Anthony makes my heart happy every day. I hope that I will be able to do the same for him. I never expected that having him would make me as happy as I am. I still get tired and impatient, but mostly, I'm just grateful to have him and happy to see him laugh and smile.

So here's to happiness. Here's to the good things, big or small. Here are some photos of my happy things:

I found a cookie

Anthony enjoyed his supper.

A fabulous new project!

First day of Spring means a beer outside. Even if it's cold.

This teething necklace is the BEST.

These boys.

Lunch out. Food. Good!

These boys.

Teaching my kid to brush his teeth.


The SK sky.

Bacon Caramels. 
 Hope you all had a happy day.

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

Sunday, 19 March 2017

Face-book-a-versary? Oh no...

March 19, 2017

About a week ago, Facebook made a video for me to celebrate my 10 years on Facebook. Instead of being excited about their video of photos and words I've posted, all I could think was what a waste-book-a-versary. (haha, I've been waiting to use that joke.) 

Seriously though, it immediately made me realise I had wasted A LOT of time in the past ten years. Somedays more than others.

I have a love/hate relationship with FB, and I'm pretty sure I'll never quit (unless, of course, all this time those silly posts saying FB is going to charge if I don't copy and paste are true... I didn't copy and paste.)

The things I like about FB aren't really what I see anymore. I like seeing photo of my friend's kids, or a vacation. I even kind of enjoy seeing the delicious food somebody is about to eat. I like the happy posts, and the posts that make me happy for the person posting. I like the real posts about things that are hard in life.

I share too many photos of my life. Of my baby, of my dog, of my partner and I. I have friends and family from a far, and this is my way of sharing my life with them. I used to share a lot more details. Happy or sad.

I've slowly tried to share more of my photos on Instagram instead, but not everybody (my Mom) is on the photo sharing media. I find it a bit happier over in Instagram land. 

Either way, I'm getting a bit off topic. My point is, I saw that I had been on it ten years, and it didn't make me want to celebrate. 

I like to think it's there for good reasons. I would have lost touch with quite a few people if not for the social media time taker. Or... I just would have made more phone calls. Who knows. My Katimavik friends, my Korea friends, my university friends, people I've met (and want to keep touch with) from many jobs of my past... most of them hang out on FB. We don't talk every day, but I know they are there.

Unrelated to the ten years on FB, but kind of related last night at around 10, I decided I would try to shut down for 24 hours. I wanted to spend the day with my family, and to catch up on reading and writing.

I had already deleted FB off my phone, but I wanted to actually have a technology free day. I put my phone on airplane mode (instagram, games, texting, calls), I didn't open my computer, and I didn't turn on Netflix. Netflix is on A LOT these days. 

(Side note, I got rid of FB months ago because it wasn't working correctly on my phone, but it's been wonderful not logging in all the time from my phone. I'll never get it back on.) I do use it on my computer.

I did turn my phone on once at 2 to check texts, and again at 5 for no good reason at all. 

I turned my phone back on for good after Anthony was down for the night.

What did I learn from this? A few things.

First of all, I can read while holding a sleeping baby:

Actually, I can read while holding two sleeping babies:

Second, my phone is in use A LOT. For no real reason. I pick it up and use it whether I need to or not. I'd like to continue using airplane mode for an hour or two every day. I really don't need to have it in my hand all day. (I do have to have it nearby because it's my camera, and I'm more addicted to taking photos than I am of anything else.)

Third, although I spend most of my day paying attention to and talking to Anthony (or Clint and Drogo), today I they got all my focus. I laughed a lot. (And sometimes yelped when Anthony bit me, or Drogo tried to trip me.) My family makes me happy. The break from Netflix and wasting time on my phone was lovely. The time with my family (all spent in my lumberjack onesie -seen above) was priceless. 

And fourth, I finished a book (it took all day - and most of it was after Anthony went down for the night), and found out I hadn't written in my journal for a year. A YEAR. I guess that's what happens when social media gets involved. I spent 10 years telling the world my story, but forgot to save some of the healing writing for my journal. Also, I started the journal in 2012. I'll be writing in it now JUST to finish it. 

My OLD OLD friend
First journal entry in it.
The last time I wrote. Just after I found out I was pregnant.

 So to end this post, I have been on FB since I was 26. I'm now 36. I love seeing bits and pieces from my friends and family. But I need to slow down and enjoy my life for real. Not through a computer. I'm not going to quit FB, but I don't need to be on it or my phone as much as I am. (Also, I LOVE the On This Day, and will love it even more when photos of baby Anthony start popping up. That alone will keep me from quitting.)

Some quick other news, my baby boy was ten months old yesterday. Time flies. He makes me happy every day, and I only hope I can do the same for him.
He met Batman on his 10 month birthday.
And last bit of other news, I'm about to take writing a lot more seriously. It's time. That novel is getting back on my screen pronto. I probably should have done that today, but reading felt right.

Happy Sunday, all.

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

Thursday, 2 March 2017

Loved Ones Lost

March 2, 2016

There isn't one day that I don't think of somebody I have lost. Usually, a happy thought or memory. 

I have had the privilege to speak at three funerals. I say privilege because that's exactly what it is. To be asked to speak in front of your loved one's loved ones, and get to say one last thing about how much you will miss them is a privilege. 

It's also scary as hell. It's heartbreaking and it's really hard to get through.

The reason I'm talking about this is because a couple of days ago I was looking at my 'On This Day' on Facebook, and saw  my Aunt's obituary. She died four years ago on February 25th. The On This Day has happy memories as well as sad ones for me. I wouldn't have it any other way. It's my life (from 2007 on.)

Her death was heartbreaking. I had lost grandparents, I lost Cameron, and then my aunt died, and it seemed unfair. 

She was a wonderful woman. Strong, loving, kind, opinionated. She saw the best in the people she loved. 

She was one of my favourite people.

Maybe I've already spoken about her before in posts. 

It's different now. When I see memories of people lost, I automatically think about Anthony. I wish they could meet him. I wish he could meet them.

My aunt would have loved my baby. He would have given her his best smiles.

There are so many people I would have loved to have met Anthony. My grandparents. My aunt. Cameron. My great uncle Bud. 

Losing people is a reality that I was lucky enough not to face most of my life. Now that I have had to deal with it, I wouldn't wish it on my baby. I hope he doesn't have to deal with it, but I know he will. 

He doesn't get to meet the people I've lost. He will get to hear about them though. 

He will hear how my Aunt Marilyn stood up for what she believed in, and how she would have thought he was the greatest little guy ever.

He'll hear how Grandma McCrea was everybody's favourite Grandma - even the ones who weren't related to her. 

I haven't mentioned my Grandfather McCrea because he died before me. I've only hear stories and memories.

He'll hear how my Grandpa Burton used to make the kids jump with his loud singing voice, and how he made me laugh. He'll hear how my Grandma Burton loved her family first. She was ridiculously proud of every single accomplishment, and would have been so proud of him.

He'll hear about Cameron. He'd know that Cam was a great friend, and that if you could learn anything from him, it would be to laugh with all your might.

And of course, my Great Uncle Bud. He'll grow up hearing a lot of stories about that man. A man who was like a third grandfather.

I've lost people. Anthony won't meet them, but I'll make sure to tell him all about my loved ones lost. 

I often look at him, and even though I don't believe in it, I hope one of them is looking down on him and smiling. It makes me want to believe.   

I'm going to lose more people in my life. I don't want to, but I will. I can't stop it, and I can't be sad about it (but I will). I can talk about them. I can share memories. I can write about them. I can remind my little A how much they would have loved him, or do love him. 

This is kind of a dreary entry, but it is what was on my mind. I'm happy. I've lost people, but I'm happy. I can spend my whole life wishing Anthony could have met them, but it won't happen. 

I was lucky to have had them in MY life, and I am who I am, I am the mother I am, because they were in my life.

I'll let my little one know.

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated: